Fat Fat the Water Rat

I'm feeling fed up with people's assumptions about me. I'm feeling fed up with my own assumptions about myself. So many people believe that they know everything about me because of my size. It sucks so much to be a woman allready and deal with what people think of you right out of the box, and then when you add a few layers of fat on top of it - wow - hang on to your ass, because a good 90 percent of people out there assume you're a peice of shit. I'm not feeling articulate right now. I'm feeling crazy and a little off.

I just wanted to share this quote: It's not by me:

"We’re not giving up, and we’re not letting ourselves go. Rather we’re forging a new relationship with our bodies, one that doesn’t involve self-loathing, one that appreciates the miraculous bodies we have, one that brings joy." -Mary Ray Worley



*sigh* and then there's the voice that says, "you really should lose weight, you'd feel better, you'd look better, you'd be ab le to live a more full life, full of love and happiness, full of friends, full of time to be, full of time to laugh and cry and rejoice"

and then I think... RIIIIGHHHTT... losing weight is gonna do all that. Uh huh.

Here is what it really would do. It'd make me be able to do more physically like shop longer before I need to stop, and it'd help me look more acceptable in my clothes.

Those are not bad things, but they're a far cry from a life filled with love and happiness. I'm upset today. I'm not sure why. Feelin' like a water rat and not liking it at all - yet defending my right to exist just like I am. Arrrghgghghghgghhh..

Sad.. sad.. sad.
:(