Sweet things...
I had a hard time sleeping last night. Nibbler was up, sitting in the doorway staring at me everytime I woke up. She's nocturnal so I doubt if it's anything to worry about, but it's still odd how she stares. Sweet little weirdo.
Today is the day my mom died 2 years ago.. the 20th.. it's a sad day. I miss her so much I can hardly bear it. But. I have to bear it. I do look forward to seeing her again, and my grandma, and all of the family I have that I don't even know. I've decided just to give in and be calmed, and believe that there is too much wonderful in this world for it to just end here. There are too many things unexplained, too many questions with partial answers, and just too many moments of awe for me to believe that we're just a sack of water and a jolt of electricity. There are too many moments of complete satisfaction, absolute wonderment and sweet perfection for it to be just one big coincidence. Even the gut wretching, shivering in the cold moments feel meaningful to me. I don't know.. and I won't know for a while.. but I can go with my hunch in the meantime.
On another note, the baby robins are getting big! This morning they were particularly frisky and cute. Well, one was trying to sleep, but the other two were very interested in the world. So cute. I wish I could kiss 'em.
posted by Kari at
11:25 AM
1 Comments:
I love the way you see the world.
Don't look to this day as being sad. Celebrate your mother, dig deep into you memories and find those moments of joy you shared with her...smile in the fact that she is with you in your heart.
it took a long time for me to like October again losing my dad and my grandmother in the same month (different year) just a few days apart. i hated it. but now (its been over ten years now) i have learned to look into my heart and i celebrate the day with a lighted candle and i talk out loud (to them) and i laugh and i cry but in the end im happy.
I can't imagine what its like to lose a mom. how life changing that has to be. but look at how much you have grown because of her love. because of her you have a beautiful soul, a shining light, and you share that beauty every day for the world to see. she gave you life! Enjoy it to the fullest my friend!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home