Sunset

There's always a sense of sadness, for me, when the sun lies down with the trees. A perfect day; a perfectly horrid day; a day of nothingness or of peace.
It feels a little sad to let it go; you know; a little sad to see it pass.

My grandma told me once, while we watched the summer sun setting over the apple orchard, that when she was a girl this was her favorite time of the day. The work had been done; the animals fed; supper dishes already put away. It was a time to run and dance, it was a time to play.

Today I found out that my aunt May has lung cancer, and my uncle Sam is not doing well and will probably die within the week. When I say uncle Sam, I mean my real uncle.. not the government. I also learned that my brother lost his farm due to not paying his back taxes, he has two days to get out. Then I learned that someone I love very dearly has been doing crack when he smells grape pop. As in, he smells grape pop, and then needs a crack fix. Weird, I know. It's been a weird day. One I shouldn't feel that sad to let go.

But on the other hand, my blessings are great today. I have a truck filled with gas. I have a beautiful kitty purring around my feet. I have friends. I have people in my life who love me, and who I love back. Many souls are still here, still with me, still breathing and still in my world. I feel good. Too fat, sure, but good none the less. I have eyesight, I have movement, I have empathy and tears. I am as alive as I've ever been. Tomorrow I am going to the Y after work. And tomorrow I will pay my stupid erratic lane change ticket. Tomorrow I will see my work friends and laugh and smile with them.

Tomorrow my haircut will not seem so odd. In Pinconning everyone thinks it is odd... but even with my funny hair I am still loved.

Tomorrow is a new day, with a new sunset, and once again I will probably feel sad to watch the sun blend into the horizon, and once again I will remember count my blessings. If I am as blessed tomorrow as I am today; every thing's going to be okay.

Monday Afternoon Haiku's

the first buds of spring
arrive in january
pretty but confused

free buddy's pizza
weight watchers points forgotten
sixteen points of bliss

my office is calm
last week's drama pushed aside
for now anyway

this morning i woke
and was happy to exist
it is a good day

the air is so cold
maybe Jack Frost won this round
bringing on the chill

tiny cardinal
why are you so freaking small
you need to eat more

Resolutions?

I've been thinking a little bit about what I'd like achieve in the next year... and it's not really all that complex.

Peace, Harmony, Laughter:
I want the warm & the fuzzy. I want to smile. I want to surround myself with people who I can love, and who can love me. I want to help the people in my life who do not like me; or do not like who I've become; to release me into the wind. It's not good to hold too tightly to the past. Memories are good, pining is not.

Fitness, Nutrition:
Like most other humans in my world, these two things are still issues. Starting tonight I am going back to the Y and starting yesterday I am eating no refined carbohydrates. No white sugar, no high fructose corn syrup.

Photography:
I've been slipping. I need to reallocate my time so that I have more time to take photos. It's something I love & want to learn more about, so I need to invest more time in it. It's a little hard with the lack of sunlight tho... maybe I need to get up earlier.

So yeah... it's a good start.. I reserve the right to change or add more at any time. :D