thirty three

In my 33rd year I will make an honest effort to spend more time with my friends, my family and all the others who fit somewhere in between. I will honor myself by remembering to take care of myself. I will honor others by not trying to take care of them. I will be 100 percent honest with everyone. Even when that's hard, and even when that hurts. No more layers of truth - no more bullshit. This year I found out I am a tiger and not a rabbit. No offense to rabbits, but I do indeed feel more like a tiger. Especially this year.

For the past 8 years I've taken self portraits on my birthday and this is the first year I've been completely at peace with the shot. While I'm a bit more wrinkled and worn, I'm also a bit more sturdy and sure, and quite a bit more authentically me.

Juliette

I mean.. she's really super bratty, right. She attacks Nibbler. She claws my chair. She jumps on the table. She scratches the shit out of me. My legs look like they did when I was nine years old and spent most of the time in the haymow. She's obsessed with getting in the bathtub with me.. she's truly out of control and as crazy as a junebug.

And I adore her. She snuggles with me at night, all night. If I turn over, she stands up and walks til she can settle back down. She looks up at me with those green-gold eyes and I can't hardly explain how it fills me with warmth. Its like the cavernous empty in my soul isn't so deep and windy. Her purr fills me with more of the same. She pats my eyelids when she wants me to wake up, gently, without claws. She's so tiny and innocent and sweet. I think she's wonderful. I think I love her.