Swimming Obsession

I would have blogged sooner, but it doesn't feel like I've had any time! I've been going to the Y after work and swimming, and then I go home and ravenously eat dinner, then collapse into bed for 9 hours of uninterupted sleep. I guess I should changed my blog title to the days are kinda long, the nights are not... or something like that.

Before swimming, I was having a seriously bad time sleeping. I'd sit there and listen to the creeks and groans, gurgles ane belches of the house, mostly gurgles and bleches. We have and old house with an ancient boiler/pipe/radiator heating system, and it has the gastro-intestional issues that you might expect of a 73 yr old boiler. Once in a while it even farts. Then I listen to the cats.. Leela at my feet licking and licking and licking off the traces of human stink like her life depends on it. I hear Nibbler roaming around looking for curlers or napkins or anything else that could satisfy her nocturnal hunting cravings. I'd usually hear the scratching of the tree limbs on the roof & windowpanes, the cars going by, and the train at exactly 2:35 every single night. Now, it's all over. I hear myself saying something like "uh, I just need to put... my... head... down for... a second... zzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzz z z z zzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" and then I wake up to the obnoxous-as-ever bitching of my alarm clock.

It's SOOOO weird. I mean, no bathroom trips, not drinks of water, no desire to check my email and play with my neopets at 4 am. It's different... and it's all attributed to my new found obsession. Swimming. Or, floating & kicking, or dodging kids in the water.. which ever the Y has in store for me each day. Yesterday my swimming session was cut short because a kid shit in the pool. At least, I think it was a kid. The only other ones in the pool were one 40 something woman, about four 13 yr old boys, and a 10 year old. All of us too old to be shitting in the pool if you ask me.. but anyway it somehow happened and we were ordered out of the pool so it could be treated with harsh poo-neutralizing chemicals. I guess today it's suppose to be okay to go back in. Really I think it would have been fine last night if they just had flung the crap out & let it be. It has enough chlorine in it to make Nibbler sniff me for about 2 hours when I come home even after showering a niiiice long shower and washing with my new champagn & strawberry body wash. I can still smell the chlorine coming out of my pores the next day. Shouldn't that stuff be able to kill the crap-germs???

Anyway. I will blog again. As soon as I apple puts out a waterproof iBook with wifi. Oooohh that'd be slick. I should invent a floating laptop cover/holder... I bet a lot of people would be all about working from home, in the pool. Even if it would actually suck in practice, just the idea of IMing your boss from the pool and telling her how swamped you are would be enough to sell a few iFloats, iThink. Ohh even better yet, IM her from a SWAMP and tell her how swamped you are, then it wouldn't even be a lie. Muha. Muha. Muhaaaaa.

Splish, Splash, iM Out.

teaaaaaa

I am on my fifth cup of tea today and I'm feeling a little on the bloated side. I read a magazine article about awesome tea is for you, with all of it's anti-oxidants and flavonoids & stuff.. but damn, I feel like I should be laying on the side of the road with vultures circling. Reaaally bloated. First I had organic green tea, then organic green tea with mint, then organic green tea with citrus, then blueberry tea, and now cocoa & cinnimon tea. It's kinda grose. It'd be better with splenda or something but I don't have any.

Damn I'm boring. I'm even boring myeself.

omg...

It's not like I want google to hand over all of our searches to the bush administration,... but I'm not too worried about it happening personally. I doubt that they care if I'm fat and wonder if rats are mammals...

Here are some of my searches on google in the past 3 days:

African American History
black history
firefox
thunderbird, mac email client
is zetacap safe?
Micheal Davidson, music
plus size belts
plus size swimwear
plus size boyshorts
weight watchers special prices
YMCA of Farmington
the boondocks
junonia
Intel chip in mac
human rights campaign
subaru forester
lim's star chinese, farmington, mi
sparkling earth
endangered species
michigan photo
country boys documentary
chris johnson, country boys
ford credit
terrence howard
tickets to las vegas
aching oblique muscle
retro tee shirts
certified angus beef logo
travelzone
moviefone
are rats mammals?
harry potter fanfic
harry/draco slash
olympus digital slr


Enjoy, you nosey bastards!

But on the other hand, you know what they say...


First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.

- Pastor Martin Niemöller

They might not care that I am concened with whether rats are mammels or not but they might eventually decide that I shouldn't be looking up news on the human rights front, or anti-bush propaganda, or the boondocks, or enviromental rights sites.

This is bad... very bad, I hope google can stand their ground.

Turtle-ing

To "Turtle" is to stay the same weight. I learned this when I was 12 and an active member of Tops. http://www.tops.org/

I never really lost a lot of weight at TOPS, but it was a good place to socialize with other chubby people. I also got a lot of play for being the only 12 year old. People would bring me little motivational gifts and send me post cards. It was great.

My mom and I would go every Monday night, and then after, about half of the meeting would go to a little restaurant and order obscene amounts of food. My favorite was the Cod sandwich on grilled Italian bread. The best thing about it was that it was GIGANTIC... I mean, I don't think I've eaten a sandwich so big ever since. Kinda funny. And everyone would do that - these women were NOT PLAYING. They'd order all kinds of shit.

And then the next week would roll around and most of us would turtle. I realize it wasn't the most effective way to lose weight, but, eh.. what is??

Oh yeah, diet and exercise.. I should try that. ;)

Weird Random Thoughts

1) I feel pressured into saying "Bless You" after people sneeze. We never did it in my family growing up, so it sounds soooo weird to me... but everyone here at work says it after anyone sneezes. Now, I don't know why, but I pretty much ONLY sneeze at work. Could be the dogs, could be the 70's building, could be the abestos.. who knows? But I sneeze here, and Justin who I share an office with is always sweet and says "bless you" after I sneeze. I say thank you. Not really sure of the correct protocol, but I say thank you.... and then HE sneezes... and it just sounds so weird to say it. And I make myself, and it comes out all embarassed and funky sounding. But I do, because... I feel like I have to. And, I really do wish him blessings, I just don't get the blessing/sneezing coralation.

2) Another person I work with just said something about my mom... like she was alive... and I didn't correct him because I didn't really feel like making him feel bad, and I didn't really feel like drudging all that up at work. But, it drudged itself up anyway, and now I am sitting here feeling kinda kicked in the groin. It's hard not too. It's never too far away from my thoughts. It meaning, the fact that she's gone... and having it brought up at work when I'm not expecting it is sort of hard to deal with.

3) I wonder how many people in the armed forces are Republicans. I wonder if the percentage is super high? I found out my cousin/best friend combo is thinking of joining the airforce and I really don't know how to feel about it all. I mean, it makes me want to puke... but on the other hand she has wanted to all of her life. She has had pictures of fighter jets on her bedroom walls for as long as I can remember , and she is a good pilot already, a Captain even, so I know she'd probably really like it. She told me that she's wanted to as long as she can remember, so who I am I to judge her for that? I mean, I'm trying not to judge. I felt so sad when she told me tho, I can't understand how she can support the war... but I'm sure she doesn't think of it like that. I'm sure she thinks of it like she is defending our country or whatever. I know I need to support her, we've had differing political opinions FOREVER and we forgive it in each other. Our first fight about it was in kindergarden - really - she won that time when ol' Ronny took office. About every 4 years we had explosive fights all my younger years until we grew up and realized all we had to do is avoid each other around election time to avoid the big issues. I don't know. I'm also scared for her. I don't want her to get blown up. I don't want her to get into chemicals that will make her sick, I don't want her hurt. It scares the shit out of me. I know I need to be there for my friend, but damn I hope she is making a good decision for herself.

4) Diet Faygo Redpop, Diet Faygo Creme Soda, and Diet Faygo Grape are the BEST pops in the world. I think I need to go get one now. I'm in a creme soda space. Vanilla just seems more morningy - even tho it's almost noon.

Coooool.

I was "surfing" around today waiting for it to be 5:00 so I can run screaming out of here, and I stumbled across the coolest thing I have ever seen. I want this!!! Of course, I'd need a pool too... hehe.. http://www.pooltherapy.com/underwater_bike_aqua.htm Isn't that so freakin' fly? It would really be awesome to be able to work out and stay cool. Rich people are lucky, seriously... I mean, maybe if I were Paris Hilton I could just whip out my daddy's credit card and order a couple of these. Eh. But then again. I don't really want to be Paris Hilton. She doesn't really seem like her life has more meaning than mine does, to be honest. Wouldn't you think that if you had all that extra money and time you could do great things? Yet... I dunno... rich people don't seem to be the ones doing great things. Except for Oprah. Oprah rocks. BUT see, she was poor once. She understands. You can telll Oprah is for real. Have I mentioned that I love Oprah? Except when she does shows on "THE DOWN LOW" and acts all fucking stupid like she never heard of bisexual men before. But I suppose I can forgive her this once. We all have our stupid-whenit-comes-to-whatever-topic idiosyncrasies, I suppose. Plus... I heard Paris Hilton has crabs. Not that it was from a reliable source or anything - but crabs would suck. OH oh OH, it's 5!!. later!

Hamburger Happy Meal

Well, I did make it 10 and a half days before I freaked out and ate fast food. *sigh* Oh well. At least I did damage control and only ordered a hamburger happy meal. Isn't the neopet cute? He's ALMOST worth the 600 calories I ate, but not quite. I mean, I could have had spaghetti or something if I didn't eat the happy meal.. now I'm gonna be stuck with another stupid lean cuisine for dinner.

oh well...

life's a beiiiaaatttcchhhh.

The thing is, if I eat a frozen meal for lunch it means I don't get to leave the WHOLE DAY. It makes the 9 hours I'm actually here feel like about 30 hours. I need to leave to break up my day.

You know - I could have cut my calorie total down by getting iced tea and apple slices instead of fries. That'd have taken the total from 600 down to 380. Maybe I don't have to eliminate fast food alltogether, maybe I just need to be careful.

Death By Rolo

I almost choked to death on a rolo. Not having a good day.

What's on your Pod?

Good Bye Shawn Cassidy

I just decided that I need a new look, and a good place to start might be my Shawn Cassidy feathered hair. haha.. uh.. No, really, I need to let it go. It's part of the whole new year, new head space, new me thing. Except, it won't really make me a new me, it will just give me updated hair. So. I have 3 hours to decide what I'm gonna do with it. I could go back to the old lesbian bowl cut, but I think I'm over that... I could go for the short short people think im a man cut... I could go layers, or crazy chunky layers, or stripe it blue! I just don't know what to do.... but, Shawn has got to go.

Resolutions

At first I decided I wasn't going to do any new years resolutions. I was thinking, screw bettering myself - I want my life to be organic. I was going for a constantly changing and growing and evolving life. I was really grooving on the notion of just letting life happen, swaying in the breeze, laughing into the wind & loving it all.

THEN... after being inspired by the resolutions on Jeannine's Journey ,it occured to me that SOME things I am doing now might actually be keeping me from swaying in the breeze and organically mutating into my enlightened self. So. Here are a few new years resolutions after all.

1) Try to be positive. This doesn't mean laugh when someone falls down or to type LOL after every sentance on instant messanger, it just means to try very hard to think thoughts of empowerment more often than not. I always used to think that you were even born positive or not, and then my boss Susan said to me one day that no one is born the person we want to be, we have to work at it.. I was freaked out by the concept at first but now I've decided that I like it. It means evolution is even more possible than it was before. It means I can be anyone - I can be me - which was created by bits and peices of everyone I've ever admired. The more I think about it, the more I LOVE the concept.!!

2) No fast food, ever. I really, really, really fucking mean it. Ever. Never ever.

3) Take a bit more pride in myself, try to buy some new clothes and cut my hair when it needs it. Pay a little more attention to grooming.

4) Always wear socks. T is from California so she naturally doesn't like to wear socks, and that's fine with me, but for myself I think I am going to choose socks from now on. I tried to toe free-ball, but it just isn't working for me. The resolution here is to keep socks clean, sorted, and available for my feet at any given time.

5) Get birthday cards in the mail ON TIME. Don't cheese out with e-cards.

6) Do the things that are hard to do, even when I don't want to do them. If they are nessesary, just do it.

7) On the other hand... Don't freak out when things are not perfect. They don't have to be. As long as you eventually do the dishes (see number six) than it's okay - maybe I will give myself a 24 -48 hour turnaround.....


Thats it, folks... 7 easy steps to becoming a better me.