4 Random Blatherings

1) Photography is probably one of the most inspiring and interesting things I can think of to do with my life. I love the idea of recording tiny slices of our lives. I feel this burning NEED - a need to capture events, a NEED to take photos of animal's little faces, a NEED to show the world what I see and remind them of the beauty we don't always take the time to notice. I really really really want to be someone who's job requires hiking into the mountains with 50 lbs and 10k dollars worth of camera equipment. I WANT that life. Now. How do I go about getting it? It feels so far away. I don't really even know how to use my camera. There are so many things about photography that I have to learn. I don't know much about lenses, I don't know much about aperature... How do I go about taking this from a dream into a reality? I am finding myself obsessing more and more about it... I go out on lunch breaks and search for things to take pictures of.. I look at lenses on ebay all day at work... I look at photo gallerys of people doing what I want to do. They sound so smart, so educated... I wonder if I will ever understand all that they do. I know it's up to me really, but what do I do next!!!??

2) Swimming. I forgot both of my suits at home today. Now what? I guess I could go home and get them and come back after work because the pool is open til 10. I still am digging the swimming but sometimes I feel like I am losing steam a little bit. I hate going when there are a ton of people there. I am becomming a regular and I have other regulars who want to chit chat with me. I'm not so into the chit chat. I like it better when I go later.. usually it clears out the later it gets but last night at about 9:00 there were about 20 people in there. I wonder if it's going to change as it gets closer to summer? Will it mean more people want to swim there or less? When it is hot out there are a lot more pools open around the area so that might mean less people, but on the other hand a lot of poeple only swim in the summer so that could mean more. Hmmmmmm.

3) 9 days off.! Woooah. What am I going to do with myself? Well the first two are weekend days, and I am sure we will do something nice since the house is reletivly clean and it's going to be 60 degrees!! Wow, excellent... then T will be gone on a work trip for 2 days and I will be left to my own devices. The cats and I will be scared together every time the boiler belches. Maybe I will go to my dad's on Monday and Tuesday tho.. THEN WHAT?!!?!?!??!!??! Take shit to goodwill... organize the computer room.... buy a bird feeder with my gas savings from staying home.... make nutricious homeade meals for us each night and freeze the leftovers... what else will I have time to do? Take some pictures of geese... watch oprah... figure out how to make a homemade lightbox... I can't wait!

4) My new haircut makes me feel like myself. Who was I before, you might ask? I was someone with bad jack-o-lantern hair. Big, round, cut with a flowbie, jacked up jack-o-lantern hair. Now I feel like a brand new but somehow familiar more confidant Kari. Ahhh... the freedom of short hair. It tells men that see me "No, I don't crave your big nasty dick, i have GREAT hair, I don't need nasty dick with such great hair" and it tells the women that I am self confidant and happy with myself even if I do weight 3 times what they do. I don't know.. just makes me feel better. Maybe I like my hair to tell the world that I'm not exactly like them, and it's okay. I love my new short queerbiehair.