Thoughts about forgiveness...

The inability to forgive is sort of like hate in the way that it eats at your soul, tears a person to bits and hardens the heart but does nothing to hurt the person who actually did the damage in the first place. They still live their lives, as wonderful or as horrible as they may be, without being affected in any way by our internal toilings.

The ability to forgive shows extreme strength of character. Sometimes it means taking responsibility for your part in it and then letting go, sometimes you have no part in it and were purely a victim - which, I think, makes it harder to let go. Still it needs to be done, the letting go. Sometimes the offense was small yet profound, sometimes huge and heinous. Sometimes it's unspeakable.

All the time, tho, to encourage your heart to heal over seems to be a good idea. Nothing good comes from reliving our pain over and over. Nothing good comes from holding on & marinating in our misery.

I am choosing to forgive myself first. For my naïveté, for my mistakes. For the pain I've caused others. For the pain I've caused myself. For my shortcomings, for my challenges.

A new years resolution a month early:
let it go, forgive, forgive, forgive.

Things I Now Know

1) Taking a bath for a good hour.. refreshing the water with pure hot when it needs it, is a truly wonderful way to spend an evening.

2) The Remote Control. It does feel rather nice in my hand. It also feels beyond nice to watch futurama, the brady bunch, and little house on the prarie EVERY DAY. (if I want to)

3) KFC's mac and cheese is delicious as a main dish. No chicken required. Yum to the Um.

4) Memory Foam. I never knew I'd enjoy sleeping in a marshmallow. Now I know I would.

5) Tart cherry juice mixed with apple cider - it's a taste like no other.

6) Popcorn made on the stove is 100X better than microwave. It just is!!

7) 70º is the perfect temperature for me. 67º is perfect for sleeping.

8) I like my eggs scrambled, and very occasionally unscrambled, with the yolk still runny.

9) I drink TONS more water if I keep it cold in the refrigerator or have ice.

10) Beauty is only skin deep. Life is short. Every cloud has a silver lining. THEY'RE ALL TRUE!!!!!!

Shazaaa!